just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
