JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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