so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
