I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
