I only kidnapped one of them. chill
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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