i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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