All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Randomize
