is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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