Screwed.edu
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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