Buhtt sex?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
