It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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