I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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