make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
