Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
