quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
