He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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