i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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