i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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