oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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