I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
