he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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