it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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