Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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