Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were destined to go to rehab together
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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