I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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