Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
This house was built for laser tag.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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