Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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