i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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