I think im going to throw up on grandma
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize