R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
