I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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