I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
