Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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