I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Randomize
