And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
