Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize