Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
sick fucks of a feather flock together
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
