p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
