sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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