Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
