So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
