just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
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The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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