Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
