these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize