i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
