Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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