He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
