This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
