When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Randomize