Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
