But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
