Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
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