May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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