There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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