you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
