Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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