We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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