People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
