Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
