sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
the day after is always just damage control
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
