Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
